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How to Maintain Relationships As An ADHDer

Updated: Dec 1, 2022


Communicate effectively with your friends. Building trust is essential in relationships.


Friendships provide the feeling of comfort, security, and inclusiveness on an everyday basis. Having a close friendship has been shown to reduce the feelings of peer rejection and loneliness, no matter how you feel accepted by larger groups. Making friends and maintaining relationships can be difficult for ADHD women at times. This is because we frequently struggle with focus, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. Girls with ADHD may zone in and out of conversations and daydream about their next move, which may cause a friend to feel ignored.


Why maintaining relationships can be difficult for ADHD women

  • Impulsivity may cause ADHDers to say without thinking, which could hurt feelings. Interrupting discussions may sometimes come out as indifferent.

  • Forgetfulness might come off as careless or untrustworthy, such as forgetting their birthday, forgetting plans, and not responding to text messages.

  • Inattention might make a friend feel forgotten. Such as zoning out during chats or daydreaming about something else you'd rather be doing

  • Inconsistent behaviour might give the impression that you do not care. Such as seeming excited to see someone one day and then not seeing or talking to them for months

These are all regular habits that can happen without the intention or knowledge of ADHDers. Therefore, it is important to care and talk about these traits in friendships and to break down expectations and habits to fully understand and appreciate every friendship, especially for ADHD women.


Tips on building healthy relationships

Having ADHD is a challenge and can be particularly troubling for friendships. Our research team has concluded the following four tips for you to maintain friendships.

  • Communication is the key. Bringing in a trusted friend can help ADHDers become closer and build trust. Discussing their ADHD traits might help a friend understand her better.

  • Be aware and monitor yourself for any signs of yourself being counterproductive or asking yourself if you are genuinely listening to what the other is saying.

  • Make small goals for yourself; for example, focus for one week on being a good listener. Focus on what the other is saying and ask short and direct questions for the other to expand on.

  • Keep your promises. Meeting promises demonstrates that people can trust you. Setting reminders on an online calendar might help you stay on track.

  • Set reasonable boundaries. Take time to recharge if you become overworked.

  • Tell your friends how much you care! As Maddy in Euphoria said, ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ thinking can cause issues in a friendship. Try not to go too long without getting in touch.


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